Lola Pollock

                It was brought to my attention today, by way of a facebook wall post by my cousin Kera, that today is the 13^th anniversary of my maternal grandmother (Lola..or, as my sister and I called her, gramee) death. So, I figured what better topic to write about than her. Before, I began, let me say that one of the disadvantages of being a first generation southerner, with both sides of the family coming from/ and for the most part, still living in New York, is that you don’t get to see them as often as you’d like. One of the many advantages is that you know your family had nothing to do with slavery, or Jim Crow laws, or many of the other stupid things that southerners did/ still do, for example everything Neil Young sings about. But, this isn’t about the south, it’s about my grandmother, so let’s get back on track.

                I don’t know my Grandmother’s history nearly as well as I should, so I won’t be saying anything about her previous to my birth, except that she stayed marry to the same man till his death (a year before hers), she adopted two kids (my mom and my aunt) and before I was born she was an obvious badass, sadly smoking took its toll on some of her badassery by the time I was alive (I’ll get to her sad demise later.) What I do remember though, is that her and my grandfather came down to visit twice a year, and almost every year for the first 14 years of my life, we went up to New York, two/three times a year too, once during spring break and/or summer, and then for Thanksgiving, and we would usually go to a beach house in North Carolina one week a year with them too, at least when I was younger.

My grandfather was a carpenter and built the house they lived in, a three-story house, the top floor was more of a loft, and the basement was of the scary variety: with a pack-rats worth of stuff scurried about the place. Gramee, was an active gardener and my fondest memory of her was of helping her pick raspberries in her garden, while trying to avoid being stung by the many bee’s and or pricked by the many thorns, all while the family dog, Duke (a medium sized springer spaniel) ran beneath us. Gramee had a bit of a husky voice, made all the more deeper by decades of inhaling a pack or two of cigarettes a day, but she loved singing nursery rhymes to me or anyone who would listen, the one I remember her singing the most was the Harlem Goat:

The Harlem Goat
Was feelin' fine
Ate three red shirts
right off the line.
His master Jack
Gave him a whack
And tied him to
The railroad track
The whistle blew
The train grew nigh
The Harlem goat
Was soon to die.
He gave three groans
of mortal pain
Coughed up the shirts
To flag the train

                My grandparents checks were always among the first to be in the mail for birthdays and holidays, and whenever we would go up and visit they would always take us to Toys R’ Us to get one toy. Going to Toys R’ Us in the late 80’s early 90’s was probably the most fun thing I got to do with my grandparents in New York, it was kind of like buying the Holy Grail in Mecca for me. In 1992 Toys R’ Us came to Charlottesville, which was like bringing the mountain to Mohammed (here’s a picture of someone bringing a mountain to Mohammed). The best gift Gramee ever got me (you know, besides love) came on my birthday in 1994, my grandparents took me too the Fashion square Mall, and told me I could get anything I wanted (within reasons). Without hesitation I went to Legends (later called Champs), a sports apparel store, and pointed at the Shawn Kemp jersey. The smallest the store had was an adult sized 44 (which might still be too big for me now) but I didn’t care, jeresey’s cost about 40.00 dollars at the time, which my mom found to be an outrageous price, but my grandparents let me get it. It was my favorite article of clothing for the next 6 years, till it was destroyed in a house fire, I really need to get another one (sadly, it won’t have the same back story).

                Thanksgiving at my grandparents house was almost always a given, there would be anywhere from 10 to 20 people at the table on any given year, which was somewhat impressive, given how small my family is on that side. I was always one of the youngest at the table, but I always got to sit with the grownups, which felt like a bigger deal than it was, given that there was no little kids table. Gramee was always the linchpin that kept us together, in the 15ish years I was alive with her, I went up with my family at least 30 times, I can still remember every inch of that house, yard, woods, the playground behind the woods, the doghouse and the several gardens surrounding it. I have been there once since she passed away, which doesn’t seem strange, until I tell you that we still have plenty of family living over there, which I sadly don’t see, but I keep up with via my cousin on facebook, both my cousins now have children too, and I have maybe met them once or twice, it’s my fault I don’t keep in touch as often as I should. They seem like awesome kids, from what she post on her facebook page. I say this now, not just as a reaching out to my family, in case they read this, but also to show the power of my grandma, we are a group of people, that at least at the time had little in common besides being called a family, yet four to five weeks a year we would all come together because of two people (her and my grandfather.) One of the last major lessons Gramee taught me was not to smoke, she didn’t teach me this with words, but by actions, since all my most recent memories of her revolve around her sitting around an oxygen tank and breathing by help of a machine one minute, and the next minute, standing out on the balcony smoking a cigarette, it is not a fun way to watch a loved one go. I think the most powerful thing I could say about gramee is this: My mom was adopted so we don’t share the same genes, but there isn’t a week that goes by that I don’t think/know that if I had hers (and my grandfathers) DNA in me, I would be much smarter, stronger/more athletic (the thing I care about the most) and better looking.

I love and miss her everyday.