As far as I am concerned,
there are two types of people in the world: People who love The Simpsons (or at
least earlier episodes of the show) and people who I never, ever want to have a
conversation with. The minute I hear someone never liked the show, the part of
my brain that cares about what people say and think shuts off and I just nod my
head at whatever they say, until I no longer have to hear them talk. The
Simpsons is both slapstick and the smartest comedy ever made, for every joke I
laughed at when I was in 5th grade, there are 3 or 4 that I laugh at
now, because I actually get the reference. Sadly, The Simpsons has become the
2Pac of the television world, putting out new episodes long after it’s been
dead. The good news is that the show has
put out well over 150 episodes that probably rate a 6.5 or higher and at least
60 that rate an 8 or higher. At its peak (seasons 4-6) there wasn’t an episode
that I would rate below a 7. The shows in that time frame were so great that
people thought by season 7 the show sucked, the problem wasn’t that the show
sucked (6 of my top 25 came out during that period…only 3 came before season 4.)
It’s that not every episode was a grand slam, if you go back and watch seasons
7-11 now, you can see that there is still plenty of great TV being made.
Anyway, I could write a 200 page essay about how great the Simpsons is, but I
know what you came here for…hardcore nudity…I mean, my list of favorite
Simpsons episodes…please, do enjoy.
Top 25 Simpsons
episodes
25. El Viaje Misteriouso De
Nuestro Jomer (the voyage of Homer) (season 8)- After eating several of the
Hottest peppers in the world at Springfield’s annual chili cook off. Homer goes
on a hallucination based journey through Springfield’s golf course. At the end
of his spiritual journey he meets his spiritual guide (a space coyote; voiced
by Johnny Cash, naturally). Among other things the space coyote tells Homer he
needs to find his soul mate. At first Homer thinks this is a stupid quest as
his soul mate is obviously Marge, but at the space coyote’s insistence, Homer
question the obviousness of his answer and goes on a quest to find his real
soul mate, by the end of the episode Homer realizes that his soul mate is
indeed Marge. Homer also causes a boat of hotpants to hit a rocky cliff
unleashing waves of free “short shorts” upon the shores of Springfield.
Homer: Well of course, everything
looks bad if you remember it. Now
where are my chili
boots?
Homer: In your face space coyote
Bart: Lis, check it out. Time for chili.
Lisa: [bored] I saw it, Bart.
Bart: You're just mad 'cause there's no clock in your hat.
Lisa: What hat?
Bart: Pff. Ah, this baby's wasted on an idiot like you.
24. Bart’s Inner Child
(Season 5)- The Simpson kids and Homer tell Marge she’s a nagger (which is
also an answer to an end of the wheel a fortune game), this leads to Marge
discovering the self help tapes of Brad Goodman (voiced by the always talented
Phil Hartman (But more on him later.)) The tapes help Marge and she then gets
Homer involved and the tapes help them. One day Marge see’s that Brad Goodman
is coming to town and takes the family to see him. After Bart makes a crack in
the middle of his sermon, Brad pulls him up on stage where he declares Bart’s
antics and the fact that he “does what he wants” make him a fully realized
individual and insist the rest of the town should “be like the boy.”
Springfield even decides to replace their annual “do as we say” festival, which
was started by German settlers in 1944 with a “do what you feel like” festival.
Eventually everyone doing what they feel like leads to many town necessities
going undone. And when this happens the towns people know exactly who to
blame…Bart, chasing him down the street until they decide to go to the Old Mill
to get some Cider.
Homer: Oh my God!
Lisa: What is it?
Homer: Tramapoline! Trampopoline!
Bart: He said what now?
Marge: Please, don't bring home any more old crutches!
Homer: Well, here we are at the Brad Goodman lecture.
Lisa: We know, Dad.
Homer: I just thought I'd remind everybody. After all, we did agree to
attend this self-help seminar.
Bart: What an odd thing to say...
Burns: I feel like such a free spirit, and I'm really enjoying this
so-called..._iced_ cream.
23. The Springfield files (season 8): After a night of Boris Yeltzen level
drinking the Sweedish import D*u*ff and Red Tick Beer (the secret ingredient is
swimming dogs), Homer, too drunk to drive, walks home. He gets lost and winds
up in the middle of nowhere, where he discovers something horrible…his farther
who got lost in the woods…then a few minutes later, he discovers an alien. His
story to the police gets little notice; however it does make its way to the
desk of special agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully, who come to Springfield and
try to figure out what he actually saw. Eventually, Homer gets a close
encounter of the blurred kind, while camping out with Ned Flanders camera. All the people of Springfield believe Homer, leading to the
townspeople hanging out in the woods on a Friday night where they buy out all the
“Homer is a dope” t-shirts. Finally, to the delight of the towns folk and
Leonard Neymoy (making a second return to Springfield), the alien makes an appearance.
Sadly, Lisa points out that the alien is not actually from out of this world,
but a drugged up Mr. Burns (obviously, using drugs to keep himself alive for
another week).
Mr. Burns: So, another Friday is upon us. What will you be doing,
Smithers? Something gay, no doubt!
Smithers: Wha...? What?!
Mr. Burns: You know. Light-hearted, fancy-free. "Mothers, lock up your
daughters! Smithers is on the town!" [chuckles a bit]
Smithers: Exactly, sir! [laughs nervously]
Lisa: All right! It's time for ABC's "TGIF" lineup!
Bart: Lis, when you get a little older, you'll learn that Friday is just
another day between NBC's "Must See Thursday" and CBS' " Saturday
night craporama."
Lisa: Dad, according to "Junior Skeptic Magazine," the chances are 175
million to one of another form of life actually coming in contact
with ours.
Homer: So?
Lisa: It's just that the people who claim they've seen aliens are
always pathetic low-lifes with boring jobs. Oh, and you, Dad.
[nervous laugh]
22. Icthy and Scatchy land (Season 6): Itchy and Scratchy land Is violentest
place on earth, where nothing can possibl-I go wrong. Bart and Lisa convince
Homer and Marge to go there for the family vacation (over the highway 9 bird sanctuary).
Once they get there, Homer and Marge put Maggie in the ball-pit, while they
hang out in parents island, where every 20 minutes is new years and one of the
bartenders even looks like John Travolta. Unfortunately, like all other Simpson
family vacation this one ends horribly: in this case, the robot itchy and
scratchy wires get crossed and they wind up trying to kill all the humans. Lisa
discovers that the flash of a camera cause the robots chips to fry and thus
saves the day. Sadly, all the Bort
license plates were still sold out L
Krusty: Kids, you heard the cartoon rat. If you haven't already run
to your parents begging to go, do it now. You won't be
missing anything funny: I'll just be sitting here reading this
grownup's newspaper.
Marge: Hmm...
Guard: [laughs] There's no need to murmur, ma'am. Here at Itchy and
Scratchy Land we're just as concerned about violence as you are.
That's why we're always careful to show the consequences of
deadly mayhem so that we may educate as well as horrify.
Marge: When do you show the consequences? On TV that mouse pulled out
that cat's lungs and played them like a bagpipe, but in the next
scene the cat was breathing comfortably.
Guard: Just like in real life.
[
Bart: Look at all this great stuff, Lis!
[finds vanity license plate rack]
Cool...personalized plates! "Barclay"..."Barry"..."Bert"...
"Bort"? Aw, come on. "Bort"?
Child: Mommy, mommy! Buy me a license plate.
Mother: No. Come along, Bort.
Man: Are you talking to me?
Mother: No, my son is also named Bort.
(Quinn note: A pain I know all too well, Bart)
Film Narrator; Roger Meyers senior, the gentle genius behind Itchy and Scratchy, loved
and cared about almost all the peoples of the world. And he, in turn,
was beloved by the world, except in 1938 when he was criticized for his
controversial cartoon, "Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors".
Homer: Back you robots. No one ruins my family’s vacation but me {pauses} and possibly the boy.
Homer: Die bad robots, die!!
21. Homerpalooza (season 7): The first episode that really showcased how much The Simpsons rock. In an effort to be thought of as cool by Bart and Lisa, Homer gets the kids tickets to the hottest rock concert of the summer, hullaballoza, which includes: Smashing Pumpkins, Sonic Youth, Cypress Hill, and Peter Frampton. While at the show, Homer does something Narcish and winds up taking a blow-up balloon pig (which Frampton got at their yard sale) to the gut. This leads to Homer learning that he has a special talent for taking large objects to the stomach, Homer goes on the hullaballoza tour, taking cannonballs to the gut with the rest of the pageant of the transmundane (the freak show.) Sadly he learns his stomach isn’t as indestructible as he thought and if he takes one more cannonball he could die, naturally the next stop in the tour is in Springfield, where the hometown crowd comes out to see their most favorite son. Homer lines up to take the cannonball, but at the last seconds ducks out of the way, much to the disillusionment of Sonic Youth.
Homer: Now, here are some of your no-name bands. Sonic Youth? Nine Inch
Nails? Hullabalooza?
Clerk: Hullabalooza is a music festival; the greatest music festival of
all time.
Homer: There can only be one truly great festival a lifetime and it's
the "Us Festival".
Clerk: The what festival?
Homer: The "Us Festival"! Geez! It was sponsored by the guy from Apple
Computers.
Clerk: What computers?
Billy Corgan: Hey cannonball, I like your statement: when life takes a cheap
shot at you, you stand your ground. Billy Corgan, Smashing
Pumpkins.
Homer: Homer Simpson, smiling politely.
Promoter: Who is playing with the London Symphony Orchestra? Come on people,
somebody ordered the London Symphony Orchestra... posssibly while high... Cyprus Hill, I am looking in your general direction.
Burns: [chuckles] And to think, Smithers: you laughed when I bought
TicketMaster. "Nobody's going to pay a 100% service charge."
Smithers: Well, it's a policy that ensures a healthy mix of the rich
and the ignorant, sir.
Kim Gordon (Sonic Youth bassist): Hullabalooza isn't about freaks; it's about music, and advertisement,and youth-oriented product positioning.
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